I simply cannot overemphasize the sheer awesomeness of this. If the opportunity to buy a lighthouse in Boston Harbor is the coolest thing I’ve heard this week, then this, dear readers, has to be a close second.

An entire mountain is for sale in New Hampshire. A mountain, I should mention, that spent its former life as a ski resort. As such, it comes with a lot of grownup toys.

Whaleback Mountain Ski Resort in Enfield, NH, is on the auction block, starting at 10 a.m. Thursday morning. (Yes, that’s today; sorry for the short notice.) You missed the open house. But I can assure you, if you like skiing, the outdoors, commercial grade lawn equipment or (probably empty?) ATM machines, this is the property for you.

If you fork over the winning bid, here’s what you’ll get: a 7,800-square-foot lodge, 1,780-square-foot rental shop, 5,400-square-foot maintenance shed, owners residence, 2,500-foot chair lift, and 30 trails of pristine New England powder.

But because that couldn’t possibly keep you happily entertained for the rest of your life, there’s a bit more in store here than meets the eye. A sampling:

  1. Thiokol Snow Tractor (Google it)
  2. Two snowmobiles
  3. All the snowmaking equipment you’d ever need
  4. A rental shop full of ski/snowboard equipment
  5. 30 paintball guns, five CO2 tanks and 42 masks
  6. 10 skateboards, 30 pairs of rollerblades
  7. A skateboard park (because the above would be kind of useless without it)
  8. 300 lodge chairs, whatever that means
  9. 40 ski school jackets, probably child-sized
  10. Enough outdoor lighting to manufacture daylight whenever you want

If there was ever a property to get a bunch of friends together, pool your money and go for broke, this would be it.

Seriously, you wouldn’t have to ski for a second and this place would still be the best year-round adult playground going. Of course, Mother Nature be damned, you could ski for half the year if you wanted, too. You do own a mountain’s worth of snowmaking equipment, after all.

[h/t Urban Daddy]