Let’s set the scene.

A pack of females flock to the local bar, prepared to bat their eyelashes, flip their hair and look casually disinterested in every Rico Suave who approaches with a complimentary drink in hand. Deep down, they’re gushing–instantaneously crushing– and discreetly tapping their gal pals on the shoulder for reassurance. Numbers are exchanged and, upon stumbling out of the bar, the ladies look at each other and in unison ask, “So, what did you think?”

The conversation ensues at brunch. They’re tossing back mimosas, gossiping about the guys they met in the wee hours of the morning; a scene straight out of “Sex and the City.” Yet, because the world has graduated from the days of Carrie Bradshaw’s bedazzled flip phone, the girls can now pull out their iPhone and Android devices, log in to Lulu through Facebook and stalk the crap out of their latest love interest.

The female-only app launched nationally this week, after raising $2.5 million. The goal is to “put women in the driver’s seat when it comes to dating intelligence” by allowing them to write reviews of guys they know based on a number of categories, including appearance, humor, manners, ambition, first kiss, sex and commitment. Ladies can choose a photo of their friend, add his name to the database and then tack hashtags onto his profile so that other girls looking to date him know what to love–or hate–about him before they even attempt a first date.

Is he #RudetoWaiters, or does he #SmellAmazeballs? (Yes, those are real options.)

All reviews are created anonymously, so nothing can be traced back to who said what, which has made men go mad. As Lulu’s most recent press release states:

The app is unashamedly exclusive and only girls can create and read reviews of the guys they know. This game-changing move has driven guys crazy and tens of thousands of them have tried – and failed – to get into the system. Prince Andrew and Prime Minister David Cameron even popped into Lulu’s London Headquarters to see what all the fuss was about!

(Yeah, about that.)

Men do have some level of access to the app. They are able to receive general feedback on where they stand among other men, but they can’t see any of the reviews or decipher who wrote what about them.

Lulu–which compares itself to Yelp–held a private, invitation-only launch at Florida State University and the University of Florida last month. During that time, over 60,000 female students downloaded the app and viewed guys’ profiles 12 million times.

Now, I did download the app and I can see why this is taking off so fast. I was a college girl once, and I did have questions about the moppy-haired brunette sitting in the back of my literature class. Would it have been beneficial to know he was a #MusicSnob or just plain #Meh? Sure, but let’s be real: Lulu is downright depressing and others agree.

Here’s a question that popped up about “appearance” when I went to go review someone.

When it comes to his looks…

  • He’d be perfect for a blind chick.
  • He could use some work.
  • There’s nothing wrong with average.
  • You could get lost in those eyes.
  • He’s my go-to fantasy.

“He’d be perfect for a blind chick?” Really? This is what women are relying on?

A recent study by Match.com showed that 49 percent of women would cancel a first date based on information uncovered during a quick Google or Facebook scan. Imagine how many dates are being canceled thanks to Lulu, though. Think of the poor schmucks who had #StinkyFeet that one time and are now scarred from dating anyone on campus ever again.

Between Tinder, Snapchat and Lulu, I’m starting to question the sanity of college students. Did Facebook ruin everything? What happened to good ol’ fashioned dating? You know, you’re doing a keg stand, he compliments you on your form and the two of you set forth on a romantic journey complete with dorm room sleepovers and candlelit dinners at the Cheesecake Factory?

Just take a look at the screenshots below, read the questions and try to tell me I’m crazy.