Although one Boston University professor has already assured us the world is not going to end on December 21—you know, because he uncovered the oldest Mayan Calendar that proves just that—people are still panicking over a looming Zombie Apocalypse. Another local professor from Harvard Medical School, however, recently examined the science behind this feared end-of-the-world scenario, and is guaranteeing that anyone with half a brain can’t become a zombie.
Translation: You won’t be pulling an Animorphs overnight come Thursday.
Dr. Steven Schlozman recently studied the zombie brain for a special debuting on the Discovery Channel at 10 p.m. on December 18 called, “Zombie Apocalypse.” What he discovered is that if a human were to turn into a zombie, they would need to have some dysfunction in both the frontal lobe and cerebellum, according to the Huffington Post.
Although Schlozman admits to being a lifelong fan of zombie movies, the Huffington Post reports “he also wants people to understand that the likelihood of a so-called zombie outbreak is very, very unlikely.”
Unfortunately, Shawn Beatty, a Wisconsin-based high school teacher who will also appear on the show, doesn’t believe him. Beatty runs a Zombie Defense League club at his school and preps for a zombie attack during his off-hours. As he told the Huffington Post:
I am 70 percent sure some kind of pandemic will happen. We’re over capacity and need to reduce our population. Other animals self-regulate, but no one wants to volunteer, and things like mandatory birth control are Draconian.
Beatty claims a zombie outbreak would likely be disease-based, and could potentially act as a bacteria that affects the brain much like bath salts. Although Schlozman does admit that if an outbreak hypothetically occurred it could be spread by an airborne bug, he also claims said bug would need to selectively invade so that it only impacts the frontal lobe and cerebellum—two entirely different parts of the brain.
Let’s all repeat: We should not be worried.
To hear from Schlozman yourself, check out the video here. And for some added fun, we’ve included some end of the world memes, as well.