In the predictably insane aftermath of the Wells Report release, it was only a matter of time before someone offered the hottest, most insanely over-the-top take on Deflate-Gate. Shannon Sharpe, who you might know as the “guy who really couldn’t take a joke,” (or possibly as a Hall of Fame tight end), fulfilled everyone’s expectation and delivered a truly scorching take on the penalties that must now be handed down to the Patriots.

Not only should Tom Brady be suspended for a “minimum” of 2-4 games according to Sharpe, but the team should also see Bill Belichick go for an entire season, as well as losing a first round draft pick (does he mean just for the 2016-2017 season, or both 2016 and 2017?) And as a nice kicker, why not fine them the “max” amount too?

It’s all fairly straightforward absurdity. Forgetting the fact that Belichick isn’t linked directly to anything in the report, it’s also important to remember that the investigation didn’t definitively prove that New England did, in fact, cheat. All it said was that “it’s more probable than not” that they deflated footballs.

And while that’s most likely proof enough to elicit penalties from the league, is it enough to draw the harshest of penalties? Don’t say that to Shannon Sharpe though. The rabble-rabble-rabble army behind him was ready to storm the gates at Gillette Stadium.

Consider also that Sharpe isn’t really one to talk. As a member of the Broncos team that won back-to-back Super Bowls in the 1997-1998 seasons, he’s well aware of institutional cheating. Denver was proven (to a much more definitive degree than New England with Deflate-Gate) to have illegally circumvented the salary cap. Their punishment? Losing a single third round pick and a $950,000 fine, which was hardly the “max.”