September 1 falls – fittingly – on Labor Day Monday, two weeks from today, August 18. As a reminder, there are two types of Bostonians on September 1: “Those facing the dreaded move, and those smugly chuckling from the sidelines, content in knowing they’re staying put, at least for another year.”
In sum: “Sheep” and “Wolves.”
Those forced to move on arguably the worst day of the year in Boston – these are the sheep. This, typically, is a mass of Boston-area college students, making the leap from on-campus housing to the friendly confines of Allston, Puke City (a.k.a Rat City), mixed with a gaggle of – perhaps – inexperienced young professionals, excited to take up space inside an overpriced unit in Southie, Beacon Hill or Fenway.
Wolves, for the most part, will be able to avoid Allston Christmas altogether, because A) they’ve decided to stick out another year in their current digs, or B) have no soul and the phrase “being a good friend… helping someone move” makes them feel zero guilt. (Note: Wolves who do help with move-ins around Boston on September 1 are not, in fact, wolves; they are sheep, who get herded around and follow orders.)
You a sheep or a wolf?
Regardless: if you’re in any way, shape, or form involved – self-imposed, or otherwise – in the trials and tribulations of the dreaded September 1 moving day, here’s a 101 crash-course into some “do’s” and “don’ts” one should live by.
1. If you take a moving truck on Storrow Drive September 1, you will end up on this website for all the wrong reasons. Moving trucks, you see, don’t fit under the bridges; you’ll get stuck; you’ll back up traffic; we’ll laugh; and we’ll write this post again next year, featuring you and your misery.
2. It doesn’t matter if you’ve hired movers to lug your possessions from one place to the other – put your shit in boxes. This helps in multiple ways: 1) planning ahead, being organized will allow your movers – or the friends who’ve decided, for some reason, to help you move – to get things loaded into the truck, U-Haul, or Penske much faster; and 2) your movers and/or friends will hate you less.
3. Over-budget. This is to say, when renting a U-Haul or Penske, consider spending a little extra cash for the larger model. If you spring for the smaller option and come to find it’s going to be a tight squeeze, things will get chipped, dinged, scratched and/or broken.
4. This is an obligatory “Do The Right Thing” PSA: If friends are helping you move, buy them beer, pizza, McDonalds, Five Guys, UBurger – something; handshakes and smiles will not cut it.
4A. Treat your movers with respect. Ice-cold Gatorades and lunches – plus a solid tip – should do the trick. Help or, at the very least, offer to help carry some ancillary objects to make your movers’ lives a little bit easier.
5. Haven’t rented a U-Haul, Penske, or a group of movers, yet? Do that immediately – right after reading the next couple of lines… U-Haul is the the de facto, go-to option for renting a moving truck. Penske, however, could be a better option. Why? Because U-Haul can’t guarantee that a truck will be available for you on the day you move; Penske does. Granted, if you’re just getting on this, now, Penske might not have a truck for you to rent Sept. 1. But still, it’s better to know ahead of time, than show up at U-Haul expecting to pick up a truck, only to find out you can’t.
6. Obtain a Street Occupancy Permit from the City of Boston – do this, and you’ll guarantee yourself a parking spot in front of your new unit, rather than face circling the block for hours, days, or years.
7. Car-owners: If you’re not moving, but you expect (as you should) that there will be plenty of new tenants flocking into your building, or adjacent buildings this Sept. 1 – get your car the hell out of dodge, because an amateur truck driver is bound to get the moving-day scaries, forget his or her wits and bump into your Honda Accord parked on Harvard Avenue.
8. Don’t touch anything you find on the street in Allston. You see, Allston Christmas might sound like fun, but it’s not; in fact, Allston Christmas is the least sanitary time of the year.
9. Depending on your comfort-level when it comes to negotiating with people you might not know, consider reaching out to the current tenant of the place you’ll be moving into Sept. 1. If you play your cards right, the tenant you’re about to replace could offer to move out in late August, allowing you to get your move out of the way before what promises to be another fiasco this Labor Day.
10. Do not make plans to go out with buds that Monday evening. Moving takes the entire day, regardless of how organized and efficient you believe yourself and your crew to be – this is one of the unexplained facts of life. If you want to pound Bud and/or Coors Lattes after your Sept. 1 move, feel free. Just know: You’ll be dead tired; your friends won’t tolerate your smell; and waiting in line at Tavern In The Square while physically and/or mentally exhausted does not make you tough; it makes you a damn fool.
Photo credit – D. Judah Sher
