Hello, and welcome to MBTA Airways. Today, we’re on a non-stop flight from Forest Hills to Downtown Crossing. Please remain seated when the fasten seat belt sign is illuminated, and keep your hands and feet clear of the aisle. Our flight is expected to be about 15 minutes of smooth sailing, and the flight attendants will hand out complimentary snacks once we’ve reached our cruising altitude. Thank you for flying MBTA Airways, and have a great day.

If only.